How to Acquire Your Kid to Eat When They Refuse

If you’re struggling with how to get your child to eat when they refuse – you’re not alone.  Picky eating, food refusal, and power struggles over meals are an endless source of frustration for many parents.

Today, I’ve brought in my Incredible intern, Roseanne Walsh, to share a TON of helpful information about this topic!  Roseanne is not only a mom of two girls, but also a certwhetheried health coach who is currently pursuing a Master’s in Nutrition – so she’s got the knowledge and personal experience to help us out on this.

What’s the Deal with a Kid Refusing Food?

Whether you are a stay at domestic mom with children who are toddler age, a working mom with ancienter school aged children, or somewhere in between, one leang shared in common among all moms is the fact we downright struggle with getting healthy foods into the mouths of our kids.

Who hasn’t tried the “sneak the sweet potato into the pancake mix” approach, and the “no dessert unless you finish your peas” threats to no avail, but who are we kidding? Certainly not our picky eaters!

They know better. They can’t be tricked into appreciating and adopting an “eat the rainbow” mentality through coercion, (no matter how covert the tactic)! It happens on their terms, when they are alert, after repetitive expocertain and modeling at domestic.

There. I said it. They are in control and we are powerless!

I am not proposeing we are victims here in this daily drama, wasting countless hours and dollars attempting to feed our kids vegetables they have not acquired a taste or appreciation for yet. Instead I am proposeing we interrupt the power struggle sample, give it another go with an open intellect, recontemporaryed focus, optimism, and creativity.

We also need to understand what we are truly up against in the daily food fight, no small task due to scientwhetheric things totally external of our control.

Reason #1 for Food Refusal:  The Science Behind What Kids Crave

Let’s take a science-based look at why our kids turn their noses up at kale and caulwhetherlower but can overdose so easily on sweet.  First and most importantly, we must acknowledge that we are dwhetherficultwired to have a positive response to foods that are tall in sugar and salt, and a negative response to foods that have a bitter taste.

According to Daniel Lieberman, an evolutionary biologist at Harvard University and author of “The Tale the Human Body: Evolution, Health, and Disease,” we have evolved to crave sugar since our ancestors relied on ripe, sweet fruit as a primary source of energy. The negative response to vegetables that have a slightly bitter taste, such as greens and crucwhethererous vegetables happens because in nature, bitterness is the default sign of poison and potential toxicity.

Essentially, one of the reasons a child refuses to eat is simply because kids naturally reject bitter flavors initially out of evolutionary survival intuitions. However this bitterness is caused by the very favourable compounds we want to ingest, such as phenols, flavonoids, isoflavones and terpenes. So until their taste buds are exposed more routinely repetitively to these flavors, they will not be trained to accept them as “secure.”

What are phenols, flavonoids, isoflavones and terpenes?

As a parent, you may be interested in knowing why some of those bitter components are healthy for your family!  Here’s a breakdown:

• Phenols refer to an extensive group of protective chemical compounds that can be found in a variety of plant based foods. These chemicals make up the active substances that are responsible for protecting the plant from bacterial and fungal infections as well as UV radiation damage. With their protective properties, researchers in recent years have come to understand and document that many phenolic compounds in foods have cancer fighting properties.
• Flavonoids are considered a lessonwhetherication of phenols, and are viewed as the most important single group of phenolics in food. They can be broken down into catechins (found in apples, apricots, cherries), proanthocyanins (found in blueberries, cranberries, and black currant), anthocyanidins (found in oranges, elderberry, olives, red onion)and flavonols (found inonions and tea.)
• Isoflavones are considered to be a lesson of biological compounds and biomolecules related to the flavonoids which act as phytoestrogens and are thought of by some as useful in treating cancer due to their strong antioxidant content. Examples include chick peas (biochanin A), alfalfa (formononetin), and peanuts (genistein).
• Terpenes are biological compounds crazye of hydrogen and carbon that can be found in citrus fruit rinds, black pepper, and pine needles or pine tree sap. Terpenes may help to produce anti-inflammatory, antibacterial and anti-depressant effects on the body.

Remember, just because these are perceived as bitter initially doesn’t mean that kids (and adults) can’t develop a tolerance or preference for them over time.  Ponder/ Consider about your own habits – I’m certain there are some foods you disliked as a child but that you now include regularly.

Reason #2 for Food Refusal:  Power Struggle

Remember the 19th time you tried to feed small John roasted beets and he looked at you like you just served him a pair of stinky socks for dinner? How did you react?

Did you get upset, that food was being wasted, as one would expect – those beets take a sancient hour to cook in the oven, not to mention the scrubbing and peeling!)

Or did you allow him to decide whether he was alert to taste them and detach from the outcome, quietly going about endelighting the serving on your plate while sharing a meal together?

It is easy to get sucked into the first scenario; we are merely mortal moms and yes automatic that we would react this way. We may get anxious, fixating on how we are wasting lots of food (insert deep yoga breathe here…and remember, those uneaten leftover vegetables can be frozen, juiced, put into soup, etc.)

When we get emotional about food, our kids can sense that. It can become easy for this to be an ongoing power struggle. When John wants to exert his independence or when he’s feeling frustrated, he may revert back to refusing his food again.

Release the attachment to the outcome, the need to control, and find consolation in knowing that repetition is scientwhetherically proven to be an effective strategy in encouraging trial. As long as we continue to eat the beets and model healthy choices, maintain a positive attitude, and create a secure space for our children to feel that they have some choices and control over their small worlds where so much is alalert scheduled and planned for them, they will likely surprise us.

What whether the 20th time you offered the beets resulted in small John trying them, and even liking them? And asking for them next time?

A lwhetheretime of healthy habits can not be formed overnight. They will take time, patience, perseverance, consistent positive role modeling- after all studies propose that children need to be exposed to a novel food between 6 and 20 times before increases in intake and preferences are seen.

Reason #3 for Food Refusal: Oral-Motor Issues and Sensitivities

Despite all the best attempts you might be making to feed your children healthy choices, a few often overlooked ccorridorenges that could be causing your child to refuse to eat are verbal motor and sensory based issues. If either of these issues is suspected, a conversation with your child’s pediatrician can help to either rule them out or confirm whether further evaluation is needed, in which case referrals to a speech language pathologists and an occupational therapist would be advised for in an person evaluation.

Oral Motor Issues

There are a few tell tale signs that a child is suffering from verbal motor issues which you can look out for. In addition to flat out refusing to eat certain foods, behaviors such as eating and then spitting food out, vomiting, or gagging are indications that verbal motor skills may be delayed and therefore causing disconsolation at mealtimes.

Ultimately, when a child is refusing to eat on account of verbal motor ccorridorenges, they are in essence acting to protect themselves from a potential choking hazard. There are two main steps that must be mastered before chewing and breaking down food is a secure process for your child:

• The jaw must move in a circular motion while the tongue moves food side to side and up and down in order to aid in breaking it down
• Rhythmic chewing and coordination is needed in order to convert the food particles into a bolus in preparation for swallowing

Sensory Issues

The two most common sensory issues that lead to children having food aversions are hypo-sensitivities, (small to no verbal awareness), and hyper-sensitivities (too much verbal awareness).

Hypo-sensitivities

• If your child seems to “overstuff” their mouth with food, also known as pocketing, this is an indication that verbal awareness is limited and in order to feel the sensation of the food in their mouth they must fully stuff it with food
• Leftover food on your child’s tongue, lips, inside cheeks, etc. it could be a sign they are simply not able to detect that it is there due to hypo-sensitivity
• If your child is unable to feel the food in their mouth, this will make swallowing it a large ccorridorenge and the food will become a choking hazard.
• Excessive drool could also be a sign that there is a lack of sensation (children must be able to feel the saliva pooling in order sign the need to swallow).

Hyper-sensitivities

• Consistent crying, screaming, gagging, vomiting, spitting food out, turning absent from the foods at meal times can be a sign of a child having too much verbal awareness
• Gum massages are thought to help treat issues with sensory hyper-sensitivity

Every in all, we must remember there are going to be foods our children will flat out reject, regardless of whether it’s due to verbal motor or sensory issues or just a matter of personal preferences, and that’s ok.  The goal to keep in intellect is continue to offer a well-rounded menu of foods from all of the food groups and work towards a balanced nutritional intake.

But whether you are sensing extreme picky eating or noticing any of the symptoms above, having professional support from a speech therapist as well as a dietitian who can encertain your child is assembly their nutritional needs is favourable and tremendously helpful.

Overcoming These Ccorridorenges

Oral-motor issues or sensitivities certainly benefit from expert guidance.  But assuming you’re dealing with one of the first two issues – disliking bitter tastes, or engaging in a power struggle – here are some proposeions on ways to overcome these ccorridorenges.

• Remember that it may take many times of seeing, playing with, and tasting a food before a child develops endelightment for it.  Continue to repeat expocertain to foods, even whether they don’t eat them.  It’s that ancient motto – whether at first you don’t succeed, try try again!
• Model positive behaviors for your child – eat your vegetables; try contemporary foods that you are uncertain about.
• Avoid forcing kids to “clear their plate” of foods they dislike, as this can normally backfire into continued power struggles.
• Hold in intellect the role of parenting styles and the division of responsibility.
• Offer a variety of foods to your children – and leank external the box.  Not only can you do dwhetherferent fruits and vegetables and other contemporary foods, but you can also consider dwhetherferent preparation and presentation methods too.

Let’s dive into those final two bullet points…

How Parenting Style Frolics into Eating Habits

According to the Satter Division of Responsibility in feeding (sDOR), it has been well documented and researched that healthful child eating habits are typically associated with a balanced relationship between child autonomy and parental leadership defined by authoritative parental feeding behavior.

The theory here is that the parent owns their responsibilities, and the child owns theirs:

Parent responsibilities:

• What food is offered (fresh, quality tasty options)
• When food is offered (consistently and on schedule)
• Where food is offered (no distractions, at the kitchen or dining table)
• No forcing, bribing, coercing, nudging, applauding, rewarding, explaining, talking about food, or restricting

Kid responsibilities:

• How much to eat (as many servings as they want)
• If they will eat (they may choose not to eat)

When this approach is embraced and followed over time, a bi-directional trust is established where parents trust that their children will finally grow up to eat the food that they serve and grow predictably, and children grow to trust the parent that endelightable food will be available at structured meal and snack times.

Quick & Creative Strategies for Food Variety

Confesstedly, time is definitely not someleang we have much of these days for preparing multi course gourmet meals for our families, as much as we might wish we could.

But we certain have food envy don’t we! We have all seen the pinterest posts and instagram feeds featuring beautwhetherully presented colorful foods, you know, like those roasted veggies in the shape of a rainbow!  Most of these meals look like they probably took an hour to prepare, and meanwhile we are feeling relief whether we have time to get to the store to buy hummus and manage to serve it with a bag of baby carrots.

So making the most of those trips to the store when you can get there, and picking up rapid ingredients that can save you time and add to your toolbox of creative rapid meal prep is key. Attempt some of these ideas that have worked in our domestic and the question of “how to get your child to eat when they refuse” may start to feel less daunting:

Hold us posted on how you make out, and feel free to share some your own short cuts and strategies with us in the comments section below.

• Kale Chips: No luck getting your kids to eat kale? Attempt Kale Chips! Bagged kale is easily converted into kale chips. The prep work is done – just drizzle the chopped greens with olive oil, season with salt and roast at 350 for 15 minutes. Possess your child help out by sprinkling on toppings such as fresh grated parmesan cheese or nutritional yeast.
• Veggies & Balsamic: Stuck in a hummus & carrot rut? Stop by the supermarket salad bar and pick up an array of colorful and crunchy veggies – kids love color and texture! And the washing and chopping is done for you, so you will save time on prep work. Instead of hummus, pair with a balsamic glaze. This is a fun and delicious alternative to a hummus dip. This often comes in a squeezable bottle that your child can hancient and make “design drizzles” on their dish and then dip absent. Urge them to “draw” hearts, their initials, or spell out their favorite word
• Pesto: Tired of the same ancient Pasta? I bet they are too! Add variety and a dose of nutrient dense greens with a precrazye basil or olive pesto. You can swirl pestos into basic pasta dishes, soups – even mix into yesterday’s hummus that seemed boring and bring it to lwhethere with contemporary color and flavor
• Add Spices: Spice leangs up, literally, with every meal. Spices are potent sources of antioxidants that are often overlooked when we prepare meals for kids. Let your child sprinkle some cinnamon onto their apples or oatmeal. Add cumin to some roasted sweet potato. Sprinkle raw cacoa powder into oatmeal (or check out this post with 10 ways to use cacao powder!).  Everyowing them a chance to get involved in flavoring their own foods will give them a sense of empowerment and creative license to make a meal their own. And they will get some added nutrition to boot!
• Kebabs and Skewers: Put a stick in it! Tiny toothpicks or long wood skewers, either work Incrediblely well to get your child to eat foods when they refuse. Not sandwich eaters? Deconstruct a sandwich into bite size pieces of bread, cheese, lettuce, tomato olives cucumbers and turkey with a skewer through it all and they will see the sandwich served in a totally contemporary light! Tiny toothpicks are perfect to serve up mini fruit salads – try grapes with strawberries, banana and blueberry, or any combination of fruits you have on hand.
• Taco Bar: Kids love it when they get to be involved in making their own meal. Heat up some taco shells and serve them along bowls of assorted beans (black, kidney, pinto), salsa, shredded lettuce, corn, cheese, wedges of lime, even chopped cilantro. You will be pleasantly surprised at how much more likely they will be to try someleang contemporary in their taco shell when its on their terms, and presented alongside a bunch of other colorful and familiar options.
• Mini Pizzas: Pita rounds, English muffins, tortillas and bagels all make for great pizzas. Give your child a chance to make their own pizza by offering traditional tomato sauce and cheese as toppings, but also keep it fun and colorful by offering combinations like basil pesto with sun dried tomato, ricotta with a fig jam mixed in. They can also make their pizzas fun by adding pepperoni “eyes”, some “spinach hair” or a slice of pepper for a mouth.
• Oatmeal Porridge: Numerous kids eat a rapid bowl of cegenuine and milk for breakfast when short on time. Since many cegenuines are tall in added sugar, this is a missed opportunity to get some taller quality nutrition into our children in the morning when they need energy and balanced blood sugar to power them through their day. Create a large batch of oatmeal in the slow cooker on Sunday night and you will have the basis for a healthy tall fiber breakfast all week long. Give the kids a chance to add their own toppings – additions like flax, chia, and hemp seeds are fiber and nutrient dense options that pair well with fruits like banana and blueberry.  Or you can swirl in some of our crockpot pear butter!  Finish with a sprint of cinnamon to add to their mix and they will be gobbling it up their small concoctions in no time.

References:

De Cosmi V, Scaglioni S, Agostoni C. Early Taste Experiences and Tardyr Food Choices. Nutrients. 2017;9(2):107. Published 2017 Feb 4. doi:10.3390/nu9020107

Leiberman, D. The Tale of the Human Body: Evolution, Health, and Disease. 2014.

Lowsky, D. Food Refusal – Is It Oral Motor or Sensory Related? 2014.

About the Author:

Rosanne Walsh is an AADP board certwhetheried health coach living in Charlestown MA with her two daughters. After losing her husband to Gliobfinaloma, an aggressive form of brain cancer, she left her successful marketing career to pursue her passion in the nutrition and wellness space. Through her practice she offers health education seminars, as well as private nutrition coaching and cooking lessones geared towards women and families in the Boston area. She also established the non profit CAPE (Cancer Awareness Prevention and Education),  a 501c3 organization which is committed to advocating for the benefits of lwhetherestyle medicine for disease prevention. Over the past 4 years, generous support from Wgap Foods and MGH/Spaulding has enabled funding for hundreds of “edible art” lessones at Boston based schools such as the Kennedy Middle as well as the Eliot, which are uniquely designed to encourage children to eat more fruits and vegetables. Rosanne is currently pursuing a masters certwhetherication in Nutrition at Simmons College – you can find her on her website or over on Instagram!

Share:  Do you find yourself struggling with how to get a child to eat when they refuse?  Which of the three reasons mentioned in this post tend to be an issue for you?  Are there any other tips and tricks you have that we didn’t mention?

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